A Momentary Lapse
by SpideychelleCarwheelerTrash
Summary: As MJ is stuck waiting out a psychotic water monster, she finds her tongue is as slippery as the Venetian streets when it comes to Peter Parker.


-mj is willing to be the first to admit it: she doesn't exactly have the best track record with school trips

-there was the decathlon trip to d.c., for starters, in which their team single-handedly blew a hole in one of america's monuments to its morally-grey history (not such a bad outcome) and got themselves stuck in a burning elevator (admittedly, a problem)

-then there was the fact that they screwed up so bad spider-man found it necessary to haul ass all the way out to washington (although mj has her own opinions on that particular coincidence- but that is a discussion for another time)

-at the time, mj had figured that one near-death experience on a school trip would be enough for a lifetime

-so, when the literal ocean decides to attack them in venice, mj will admit that she is caught slightly unprepared

-she first realizes what's going on when there is a near miss involving ned, betty, and a gondola

-the soaking wet couple stumbles out of the boat, and then they are ushered into the crowd, along with mj, searching for somewhere sheltered from the water in the city that is literally built into the sea

-there are bodies pushing around them on every side, all of the people struggling to get away from the murderous lazy river that is trying to drag them into the depths

-"flash, stop video-taping this!" shouts abe over the ruckus, causing mj to glance over her shoulder at her classmates

-"someone needs to know that the ocean is attacking us!" flash shouts back in response, adding, "it could be aliens, or-"

-"or maybe you should put away the phone and concentrate on running for your life!" cindy snaps, shoving her way past flash

-"alright, children, please stay calm," mr. harrington calls in a shrill voice that is decidedly not calm, "everything is going to be alright. emergency services have been contacted-"

-"and how are they gonna get here?" flash asks shrilly, adding, "oh, right. by boat!"

-at that moment, the group turns down another alley, meeting with another rush of people running for their escape

-mj doesn't realize that she is being separated from her companions until it is almost too late

-at the last second, her hand shoots out and grabs betty's

-mj links her fingers together with the girl's, her eyes meeting the panicked gaze of the blonde

-when she turns to look for the rest of the group, mj finds that they are gone, swallowed up in a crowd of unfamiliar faces

-the shoving is getting worse, and for one dangerous moment mj fears that she is going to slip on the cobblestones and end up underfoot; then, her eyes find a sheltered side street behind a cafe, as well as a dumpster they should be able to use as shelter

-mj tugs fiercely on betty's hand to get her attention, and the girl's panicked gaze locks on hers, goes to focus on the hiding spot, then travels back to mj's own eyes with new understanding

-after mj is sure betty understands, she pulls herself free of the crowd, holding tight to her classmate as she makes a beeline for shelter

-betty weaves through the crowd quickly, and in a flash the girls find themselves crouched beneath a tall, cardboard box leaning against the trash, breathing heavily

-for a moment, that's all either can do: squat under the cardboard, fighting to catch their breath and still their pounding hearts

-and then, betty begins rifling through her soaking purse for her phone, breathing, "we need to call someone. mr. harrington, or maybe flash, or… ned!"

-betty's voice goes shrill on the final name as she releases mj's hand, bringing both hands to cup her cheeks

-"i can't believe i lost him! oh, my gosh… what if something happens to him? i need to text him, or else he's going to worry."

-before she can look for her phone again, mj rests a hand on betty's arm

-"you should probably wait," mj reasons slowly, "i'm sure he's running, like the rest of them. you don't want him to stop and look at his phone when you call, or else he might get hurt. he needs to focus."

-"you're right," betty pants, running a hand through her soaking wet hair. "i just can't believe… well, i'm sure you know how it feels. you have brad to worry about."

-something strange tingles in mj's stomach in response to what her classmate has said, and mj finds her eyes widening

-"what?" she questions, eyes narrowing slightly as she presses, "wait, there's- there's nothing going on between me and brad. i don't feel… no, it's not like that."

-betty's eyes are surprisingly sharp as she fixes them on mj, raising an eyebrow

-"oh... okay," she says slowly, though her voice sounds rather unconvinced

-"i just thought, because you've been sitting next to him on the plane and the bus and stuff-"

-"um, yeah, we're just friends," mj responds quickly, tucking a curl behind her ear and turning to watch the crowd outside of the alleyway

-the sound of rushing water and screaming is all that can be heard between the two of them for a moment, and mj does not look away from the chaos out there

-even if they're safe, their classmates might not be, and then there's peter-

-well, at least, she thinks there is

-but if mj is anywhere close to being right, then he is far too close to that thing for comfort, and the very thought sends her stomach lurching.

-"well, who is it, then?"

-betty's question causes mj's gaze to snap to the blonde immediately, dragging her out of her thoughts.

-"um, no one," mj replies quickly

-"you're looking awfully worried for that to be true," betty reasons, eyes narrowing slightly

-mj hasn't noticed it before, but there's just a little too much sharp cunning in them for her liking

-"i mean, half our class is out there," mj reasons, but betty raises a hand to stop her

-"we both know that you would probably throw a party if flash drowned, and you just said yourself that there's nothing between you and brad," betty counters firmly

-mj averts her gaze, fixing it determinedly on the cobblestones between them

-"venice was traditionally a city of people running from something," mj pipes up after a moment, the words coming in a quick, focused, stream

-"people only started living here when rome fell and a bunch of warrior clans were like, 'hey, cool, we're just gonna start attacking things.' so all the people were like, 'shoot, better go somewhere they can't reach us. well, these guys suck at building boats.' so… venice. kind of ironic that people came here because they were running away, and now that we're here we're all running away, too. it's like poetic justice, kind of showing how no matter how much you do in life, you're never gonna change much-"

-"you can't distract me with your existentialism," betty interrupts

-mj falls silent immediately, cursing mentally as she listens to the sound of the gears turning in betty's brain

-"i know you've got someone," betty continues

-the statement is simple, declarative, and it doesn't really demand more, and in the quiet that stretches between them, mj finds herself feeling drained and exhausted

-they're miles and miles away from home, crouched behind a dumpster while a popped water wiener is terrorizing venice

-peter parker is probably fighting that thing right now in his onesie, and mr. harrington is talking to their travel planners on the phone about whether or not there's a discount for situations where the canals literally come to life

-flash is without a doubt live streaming the whole thing

-in the wake of all that, mj figures, what does it matter?

-she's been hiding her stupid feelings for years, and no one's figured it out; she might as well give just enough information to appease betty, and there's no need to mention names

-there's no reason to get deep on anything, especially when it's so confusing and likely not reciprocated, right?

-"i guess," mj says simply, pointedly staring out into the alleyway

-beside her, betty lets out a light squeal, clasping her hands together, and mj has to bite back a groan

-"i knew it!" the girl declares, waving a finger in mj's direction with a grin

-"i so knew it. i knew my investigative journalism skills were right- they always are. and being in such a solid, healthy relationship has definitely given me a sense for these kinds of things; i think that's what separates a woman from a girl, you know? and-"

-mj lets betty ramble on for a bit, sitting with a stoic face as she listens to the disturbance from afar

-something about this feels… strange

-it takes mj a moment to realize that this is the first time she's admitted it, and then suddenly she finds herself a little bit breathless

-"-so, how does it feel?"

-mj isn't expecting the question, so when her eyes return to the soaking-wet blonde, she can't help but feel like she has been snapped back into the present and everything is taking a minute to focus

-"what?"

-"you know, how does it feel?" betty presses

-"to have a person like that in your life? i mean, you can't have had too many- you're too calm and stuff for that kind of thing."

-mj decides, in the moment, not to analyze that particular comment

-instead, she considers betty's previous question and tries not to feel too much like she's been put on the spot for an interview

-"um... i mean, i don't think there's a way that you're supposed to feel," she says slowly

-"but pretty basic. i mean, with like fluttery chest and stuff. it's whatever."

-mj tries not to think about what she's just said, but now that she's let the words pass her lips, it's a little bit hard

-because it's true: every time she catches him look at her, her heart leaps and sputters like a revving engine, just about making her jump out of her skin

-and every conversation with him that is unplanned is smooth and easy, like a road she knows how to drive like the back of her hand

-and every awkward interaction somehow feels like a learning curve, like driving a new, unfamiliar car but knowing you'll get the hang of it-

-alright, maybe she's taking the car metaphor too far, it's kind of sounding like a rascal flatts song

-luckily, betty interrupts her train of thought before mj can take herself down a dead-end

-"that's so sweet," betty decides, tipping her head slightly to the side

-"you know, i don't think i felt that way about my ned at first… but then, once i really got to know him, i started to get all the butterflies and everything. sometimes, i think, they come with time."

-the absurdity of it all strikes mj in that moment: the two of them are literally hiding from a water golem behind a dumpster, and for some reason they're talking about boys

-way to fail the bechdel test in real life, mj.

-but, as mj considers the situation they are in, she decides that maybe they are doing the right thing

-after all, it's keeping their minds away from the almost inevitable destruction of an ancient city with them in it, so they might as well do what they can to keep calm, right?

-it is for this reason, and no other, that mj decides to keep going

-"yeah, that makes sense," mj agrees nonchalantly

-she considers it for a second, though, and in the moment she finds herself simply letting loose

-"i think mine were pretty immediate, though."

-and, as mj thinks it over, she realizes it's true

-peter has had the same effect on her since the day she first saw him, when he ran into their freshman bio class half a second before the bell rang with a stupidly flustered look on his face

-even then, when he was scrawny and short and squeaky-voiced, he was capable of releasing a bunch of fluttering fruit bats loose in her chest, filling her with panicked, beating wings

-and even now, what is technically seven years later, that hasn't changed

-sure, he's got abs now, and he's got the arachnoid fursona to think about

-but he's still peter, and she still feels just the same as she did when she was a freshman in the back of the class, not yet having learned that no one gives a crap and still trying to figure everything out

-"it hasn't changed," mj finds herself admitting, "even though i have, i guess."

-betty's eyes flash with delight, and the words leave her mouth so quickly that mj isn't convinced she is breathing: "ohmygosh. is this a long-term crush we're talking?"

-mj pauses, strangely uncertain, but with betty's eyes burning into her skull, she finds herself admitting it

-"i mean, i guess so."

-betty goes off on a rant, but mj isn't really listening to it now

-something settles over mj, cold and heavy, rather like a chill

-it takes mj a moment to realize that betty has stopped talking and is now studying her

-"what is it?" the blonde asks simply, and mj is surprised by the open seriousness in betty's face

-perhaps it is this candid side the blonde is showing that causes mj to reply

-"it's the first time i've talked about it. not that it's a big deal, or anything."

-betty's eyes widen in surprise, but she doesn't stop mj as she continues

-"but hearing myself say it aloud and everything? i mean, it makes it all sound kind of stupid."

-betty doesn't bother to hide her surprise, but rather than countering mj's statement, she simply says, "why?"

-mj mulls it over, considering

-after a slight pause, she finally says, "it just doesn't make sense."

-"it kind of makes me feel like a loser. i've been hung up on this one thing for so long- i mean, it's dumb. it's not logical or anything, so i really should just move on… i'm an independent person."

-betty's eyes are narrowed and calculating as they meet mj's own brown irises, and the question that she poses with such intensity nearly causes mj to lose her cool:

-"who says that it's stupid just because it doesn't make sense?"

-mj swallows thickly, glancing away, but betty isn't done

-"in fact, that might be exactly why it does make sense. because it doesn't. sometimes, feelings like that just work that way."

-feelings like that…

-for a moment, mj rolls the phrase around in her mind, and she finds herself straightening up slightly

-feelings like that, feelings like-

-alright, maybe that's a bit much for one day

-but something about the thought, maybe we don't have to make sense, is strangely freeing

-for just a moment, mj sits up a little straighter beneath the dumpster, drawing in a deep breath

-she doesn't have to make sense: she doesn't owe it to anyone to be predictable, and she never has

-in fact, mj has thrived in the face of unpredictability and instability her whole life, so maybe betty's right

-maybe, the fact that she and peter don't make sense is exactly what makes it feel so right

-and maybe, those feelings that betty is talking about could one day turn into…

-"i mean, look at ned and me. we weren't exactly the likeliest couple- i was independent, ready to face the world, and he was a bachelor without any sense of direction in his romantic life. but all it took was one plane ride, some luck, and a little bit of fate, and now, here we are-"

-mj tunes out for most of the speech that follows, and as betty goes on, she can hear the sound of the chaos in the distance subsiding

-and so, as the waters settle and the storm calms, mj finds a little bit of strength left in the wake of all the destruction

-because maybe, just maybe, she's opened herself up a little bit more to the uncertain and improbable

-and maybe, because she's allowed herself one foolish moment of vulnerability, she's shaping up to be a bit stronger for it.


End file.
